


The Biggest Fan

by rollingday_s



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: (brief mentions of Jun/OC and Sho/OC), Angst, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 10:06:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rollingday_s/pseuds/rollingday_s
Summary: Jun had always admired Sho when they were still Juniors. Then, suddenly, one day he just stopped. No one knew why, but everyone could see that their relationship wasn’t what it used to be any more.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on LJ
> 
> **Disclaimer** : This is all fiction. Arashi don't belong to me.

Jun had always admired Sho when they were still Juniors. Then, suddenly, one day he just stopped. No one knew why, but everyone could see that their relationship wasn’t what it used to be any more. There were talks among the other Johnny's, of course, and the rumours ran wild.

_ “They say Sakurai-san scolded Matsumoto-kun because he was annoying him by following him around and calling him in the middle of the night, and Matsumoto-kun resented it.” _

_“No,”_ would say another, _“I'm pretty sure it's because Matsumoto-kun caught Sakurai-san kissing the girl he likes.”_

_ “I heard that Johnny-san told Matsumoto-kun that Sakurai-san was more talented than him, and he didn't take it very well.” _

_ “Eh!? Matsumoto-kun did? But he's so sweet! You'd never think he would get angry at that.” _

Arashi had just debuted when things changed, but both boys tried to do their best and get along. _'Who knows how long this will last,'_ used to think Sho. _'It's just till I graduate from college. Then I'm done with this. Just until I'm done with college...'_

 

Surprisingly enough, Ohno was the first one to ask. He sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to him. Sho was a little confused at that. He didn't know the other guy that well, and they were definitely not friends. But there had been talks and meetings, and Sho and the other members knew that Ohno had been chosen to be their leader. He felt his pride sting a little at the thought that this helpless guy with no wits about him had been chosen as their group's leader instead of him. He couldn't believe that the clueless guy who didn't suspect for one second that he was being called to record their debut song, the sleepy-head who didn't suspect he was going to be part of a group, - that guy, yes, _that guy_ , beat him. A little annoyed, Sho took his seat and stared at Ohno politely.

“What’s wrong?” he said, looking a little uncomfortable.

“Excuse me?”

Ohno looked at him painfully, like he was trying to communicate with his eyes instead of words. Again, Sho's pride burned a little at the thought that this guy was going to be his leader. _'Just until I'm done with college,'_ he repeated to himself like a mantra.

“You know...” Ohno hesitated. He looked into Sho's eyes and saw his impatience. He sighed and clasped his hands on his lap. “Look, I know we're not close, Sakurai-san. You barely know me, even though I know you. Well, I know _of_ you,” he paused a second before continuing. “But we're doing this-- this thing. Arashi. And they went and made me leader, even though it should have been you...” he added, looking bit lost.

“I'm certain you were the right choice, Ohno-san,” Sho said in his best polite voice.

Ohno cackled nervously. “Yeah, well, we both know you don't really think that,” he waved his hands when Sho made to talk. “It's alright, that's not the point.” He put his hand on Sho's knee awkwardly. “What happened with Matsumoto-kun? You were so close before, and you're not anymore.”

Sho looked at Ohno's hand on his leg. He had smudges of dirt on his fingers. Pencil, maybe. Ohno spent his day day-dreaming or sketching. Sho hated him for that. That guy was good at everything he wanted to be good at. Forget the good grades, forget the social status. What wouldn't he give to have just an ounce of Ohno's talent. He was a great dancer, the best singer, and a good artist. And Arashi's leader. Sho felt a pang of jealousy hit him. _'Just until I'm done with college.'_ He smiled his best fake smile.

“It's okay, Ohno-san. Everything is okay with me and Matsumoto-kun. I guess he's in his rebellious phase or something,” he laughed. “It was about time, really. Got tired of having him follow me around all day.”

“Oh, well-- if you say so,” he said, worriedly.

“You're probably worried about our group. As expected of the leader,” he added, a little bitter. “But whatever problem may arise, both Matsumoto-kun and I will handle it professionally and will be on our best behaviour, I can promise you that,” he said seriously.

Ohno looked at him with piercing eyes. “I trust you, Sakurai-san. But I want you to know that-- ah-- leader or not, you can-- you can always come to me if you need anything.” He looked at the ceiling embarrassed. “Well.” He stood up. “Should we go home?”

“Ohno-san, we have a meeting in 5.“

“Oh. So we do,“ he muttered, distracted.

 

***

 

He finds out at eleven. He has his first real crush, and it shocks him to acknowledge he likes a boy. He ignores it. Tells himself he's just confused. He likes Akita-kun as a friend. He's good at sports, and he admires him. Sho is only good at soccer. He convinces himself that he looks up to Akita-kun, he's not infatuated with him at all. He quickly forgets the way his heart threatens to jump from his chest every time he sees him.

At thirteen, he has his first kiss. He doesn't even like her, but his friends tell him she's cute, and she wants to date Sho, so he takes her out for a date. Tokaji Koharu is her name. A classmate of his. She's short and skinny, and wears pink ribbons on her piggytales. Sometimes she lets her hair down, though, and Sho can smell the scent of peaches in the air. They date for about three months, and that's it. Koharu-kun has to transfer schools and they won't be seeing each other again. She cries in his arms under the big cherry tree in the school yard, so Sho hugs her to comfort her. He doesn't cry when she waves him goodbye for the last time. He feels so guilty when he realises he's relieved. He enters Johnny's agency that same year.

At fourteen, he is well-known amongst the other Johnny's Juniors for his diligence, but also for his temper. He's the object of admiration of his seniors and juniors alike. He meets a cute little boy with the biggest eyes he's ever seen. He says his name is Matsumoto Jun, but in Sho's mind he calls him _mushi_ , bug. He never says that out loud until he gets angry at the little bug for something he does. But _mushi_ keeps on following him around even after that, and he finds that he doesn't mind it that much any more.

 

***

 

“Ne, Sho-chan?”

Sho looked up from his notebook and saw Aiba sit beside him on the love seat. They were in his hotel room, on the last day of rehearsals before their 10th anniversary tour. Sho wanted to spend the evening sorting out his schedule for the next month, but the rest of the members, led by an over-excited Aiba, barged in his room with a six pack and refused to let him work. He had tried to, of course, but the constant interruptions were starting to wear him out, and the cold beer in his hand was telling him to forgo his timetable and focus on relaxing and giving in to whatever that man was going on and on about.   
“Sho-chan, do you have one?” he asked, excitedly.

Sho frowned as he put his notebook down on the coffee table in front of him. “I thought you were supposed to have quit smoking, Masaki. It's not good for you.”

Aiba giggled and shook his head.

“Oi! You totally haven't listened to a word we have said in the past half hour, have you?” Nino said, pointing an accusatory finger.

“Eh? You're right. Sorry. What was that about?”

“A girlfriend, Sho-chan,” continued Aiba. “Do you have one?” His eyes sparkled with curiousity and mischief.

“I don't have time for that,” he chuckled. “Do you?” He raised his eyebrows at him.

“Sometimes,” he said, falling further back in the love seat.

“Don't listen to him,” retorted Nino. “He's full of crap. Dates a new girl every month.”

“You're one to talk,” said Aiba between giggles.

“Yeah, Ninomiya, what number is it this week?” inquired Ohno teasingly.

“You're all just jealous,” he said. “Just because _you_ ,” he pointed at Aiba, “can't keep a girl to save your life, and _you two_ ,” he pointed at Ohno and Jun, “have the same girl to warm your bed every night.” He sipped on his beer. “Disgusting, really.”

Ohno laughed. “Who's jealous now?”

Sho laughed as well, and took a sip from his bottle. He looked over at Jun, who was sitting on a chair with his arms and legs crossed. He was looking over at him, with an expression on his face that he couldn't decipher. Sho smiled at him kindly. “You're going steady with Maeda-san, Jun-kun?”

Jun almost gasped at the surprise of being talked to. He looked away, annoyed that he had been caught red-handed, as he replied with a “yeah.” Sho was sure he heard Nino whisper _“disgusting”_ again under his breath.

“We should find Sho-chan a girlfriend too, right, leader?” Aiba said, jumping up to join Ohno and Nino on the couch opposite Sho's.

Sho rolled his eyes. He knew there was nothing he could do when Aiba set his mind to do something, but he wasn't going to give up like that. “I really don't think I have time for a girlfriend, Masaki.” He took his notebook, opened it and raised it so he could show it to the other guys. He held up the last two pages, full of his small handwriting. “See? Busy. She would get very lonely.”

“But what about Akayama-san?” Aiba chirped, ignoring him. “She looks like Sho-chan's type.” He raised his fingers as he counted. “She's cute, likes to read, has big boobs...”

“Hey! Aren't you just saying things you like, now?” Sho reprimanded him with a laugh, before finishing his beer.

“Oh, are you more of a butt guy, Sho-chan?” Aiba smirked.

“I'm not talking about this stuff with you, pervert,” he shouted jokingly as Ohno and Nino snickered.

“It's fine, isn't it?” Jun said firmly, interrupting their chatter. The room fell silent and everybody looked at him. Sho saw as Jun gazed up at him and looked him in the eyes defiantly. “This is fine the way it is, right, Sho-san?”

Sho tried his best to muster up the cold smile that formed on his lips. “Yeah, it's fine.”

“Well then we have nothing else to talk about.” Jun stood up and looked at the clock that was ticking on the wall. “I'm going to sleep, and you all should too. We have our last rehearsal first thing in the morning, and I'm not hearing any excuses.” He walked to the door and looked back one last time at the group. “Goodnight.” And he was gone.

“Gee, what crawled up his ass and died?” muttered Nino.

“That's not fair, Nino. You know he's just nervous about tomorrow,” said Aiba, patting his leg gently.

“Yeah, well, he's still an asshole,” he sentenced before getting up, followed by Ohno and Aiba.

Chanting a last _“goodnight,”_ Aiba closed the door to Sho's room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He stood up from his spot and tossed the empty beer bottles in the bin. One last bottle from the pack had remained untouched. He grabbed it and felt that it was warm, but he didn't care. He opened it and chugged it down in one go. The bitter taste made his eyes water, but the feeling disappeared quickly. With the empty bottle in his hand, he just threw himself on his bed still clothed, and fell prey to a deep and dreamless slumber.

 

“Sho-kun,” he heard a familiar voice say.

It was the last day of their 10th anniversary tour, and they were waiting in the dressing room for their turn in make-up. Sho looked around and saw Ohno gesturing him to sit down next to him on the couch. He almost smiled nostalgically at the _déjà-vu_. He wasn't surprised this was happening. If nothing else, he thought it would happen sooner. He sat beside Ohno and waited for the question he knew he was about to ask.

“What's wrong?”

Sho laughed at that, and he was met with a puzzled Ohno staring at him in confusion. “You really don't remember?” he said, gesturing at them and the couch.

“Should I?”

“Never mind,” Sho waved his hands. “What is this about?” he asked, knowing perfectly well what Ohno was asking.

The oldest looked at him with tired eyes. _'In all these years,'_ Sho thought, _'he never lost his talent for speaking without words.'_ But this time, unlike all those years ago, Sho conceded and lowered his eyes. “Maybe he's just nervous because of the anniversary,” he said, unconvincingly. He knew Ohno wouldn't buy it, but he lied anyway. And yet, he couldn't stop the last words that escaped his lips no matter how much he wanted to keep them in. “Or maybe he just hates me.”

The other man gave him a concerned look. “Is that what you think? That he hates you?”

“It hasn't exactly been a secret,” he replied sharply.

“Does this have anything to do with whatever happened when we were still Juniors?”

“I think so,” he sighed.

Ohno remained silent for a while. Sho, who had stared at his hands for the past couple of minutes, turned around to make sure that he hadn't fallen asleep on him like that, or something. But he hadn't. The older man was simply waiting for him to speak again.

“Satoshi-kun...”

Ohno shifted in his seat. “I never asked you about it, and I won't. It's between you two.”

Sho nodded. “You're worried about Arashi. Everything will stay the same, it's fine.”

“Ohno-kun,” his manager popped his head in the door. “They're ready for you in make-up.”

Ohno raised his hand in understanding, and his manager disappeared. “You know I'm not worried about that,” he said in a serious tone. He stood up and straightened his clothes. “You know it _is_ fine. If you don't have a girlfriend, I mean. If you want one, if you don't want one... It's fine.”

Sho looked down at the floor processing those words. “Satoshi-kun?” he called as he was walking toward the door.

“Hm?” Ohno stopped and turned around.

“All those years ago, - well, I guess it's ten years now, isn't it? - when they made you leader of Arashi, I was so jealous, you know? I thought it should have been me.”

Ohno chuckled heartily. “Yeah, I knew.” Even back then, Sho realised, he couldn't hide anything from him. “But you were right,” the man continued. “I am not fit to be the leader today any more than I was that day. You would definitely have been a better choice,” he said matter-of-factly.

Sho shook his head. “That's not true. I see it now. You were the right choice all along.”

Ohno blushed a little. “Thank you,” he said, “really.” And he went out.

“No,” whispered Sho. “Thank _you_ , leader.”

 

***

 

Sho is fifteen. He gets good grades in school. He is quite popular with the girls. He has many friends. His parents and their social circle know he's capable of great things. But Sho is also still a Junior in Johnny's, and his parents don't approve. Despite that, Sho is happy. Everyone loves him and looks up to him. He _knows_ he's capable of great things. That's why he's quitting the agency when he's getting to college. This is just an extracurricular activity. Nothing serious. Nothing feels quite real when he's here. Everything is different. He can be what he wants to be, instead of what he's supposed to. Most of the time, at least.

He still hasn't completely accepted that he likes guys when he finds himself swept away by Okamura Shohei's smile. He's one of his friends at the agency, and he finds himself more and more drawn to him every day. One day Shohei actually smiles at him, so his heart just takes the hit and he understands with a simple 'oh.' Sakurai Sho, the son of Sakurai Shun could never be gay. But Sakurai-senpai, the Johnny's Junior, could be whoever he wanted. And so he lets this simple thought lull him into acceptance. He lets his dreams clash with this world he calls his own, where he feels like he belongs, and where he feels safe and warm. In other words, he lets himself fall in love.

His first kiss with a guy is what he considers his real first kiss. He wants it to be perfect, but they're both too eager, and so it turns out to be messy and sloppy. But Shohei smiles at him under the stars five minutes later, and all Sho wants to do is to kiss him again. He does, gently this time, and that gets him his perfect kiss. He's over the moon, and he decides right there, right then, that this beach is his favourite place in the whole world.

Sho is seventeen when his whole world changes. He used to tell himself that he would quit being a Junior as soon as he got into college, so it was time. But he never does, because he knows he won't be safe out there. He knows it won't be him, Sho, to step out into the world, but Sakurai Sho, future politician following in the footsteps of his father. He isn't ready to give up on his perfect world yet, so he decides to stay. That's when everything crumbles and shines at the same time.

The beach is their secret place where they meet up away from their friends' prying eyes. It's a special spot to them. It's where they first held hands. Where they first confessed. Where they first kissed. It's quite nice outside, and Sho is leaving for Hawaii the next day, so he asks Shohei to meet under the starry night before he has to go. He doesn't care when he hears someone's footsteps coming nearer. He's holding Shohei's hand, and he's kissing him, and Shohei is kissing him back, and they're pretending that the world outside doesn't exist. They only stop when they hear a gasp. Turning around, Sho finds a pair of big eyes looking at him, and he realises that _mushi_ has followed him there.

“Senpai...” he whispers before running away.

That's the last time Jun ever calls him senpai. He doesn't talk to him when they meet on the plane to Hawaii the next day. He doesn't talk to him for five years after that.

 

***

 

Only a few minutes had passed since the clock had striked 2:00 that night, but Sho was still working on his computer. He had to keep busy so he would stop thinking. He would plan out his life carefully, with no mistake. He needed to know that he could control his day with timetables and train tickets and non-refundable reservations and live TV appearances. Everything had to be planned out. No detail left out, no chance to mess up. Since that night too many years ago, Sho never let himself forget about his surroundings, and kept everything under strict control.

He hadn't noticed the time, so he wasn't surprised when he heard his phone ring. What did shock him, instead, was that the name appearing on the screen was one he never suspected he would see on a Saturday night.

“Hello?”

_“Good, you're awake,”_ said the man on the phone. _“I'm outside the door of your apartment.”_ He hung up.

Sho stood up and went to open the door. “What are you doing here, Jun-kun? Everything okay?” he added, concerned.

“Sorry for the late hour,” Jun said as he entered his flat.

Sho looked at his watch. “Ah! Is it this late?” He led the man to his living room.

“Were you still working?” he said, noticing the computer on the table.

“Just finishing up on some things. Would you like something to drink?” He closed his laptop and cleared the table. “I've got beer, wine, soda...”

“Water is fine, thank you,” he said turning his shoulders to the older man.

Jun heard Sho's footsteps as the man went into the kitchen. He walked till he reached the big four panels window. From there, you could see the whole city, the little lights in the streets dominating the view.

Sho came back immediately. “Here,” he said, giving him a glass of water. He had a glass for him, as well. “It's a great view, isn't it?”   
Jun looked at him briefly before answering. “It's really beautiful.”

Sho moved back to the chair he was sitting on earlier. “So,” he said cordially, “is everything okay with you?”

“Why are you so nice to me?” It was almost a whisper, so feeble he wasn't sure he had really talked.

“I'm always nice,” he said, smiling warmly.

“You weren't always,” he retorted, his gaze away from him and out the window, lost in the distance.

“Well, people change, Jun-kun. You've changed too. You're nicer too, aren't you? To me, I mean.” He shifted in his seat.

Jun didn't answer.

“Right. Well. You still haven't told me why you're here. Won't Maeda-san worry that you're still out at this hour?” Sho inquired.

“We broke up. Sumire and I broke up. Last month.”

“Oh. I didn't know.”

“Yeah.”

“That blows.”

“Eight years,” Jun sounded bitter. “Eight years, Sho-san. Thought I was going to marry her.”

“We all thought that,” he said, sympathetic.

“Yeah, well, as you said, things change.” Jun turned to look at him. “And some things don't.”

Sho was unsure what to say. A long pause hang between them as they stared at each other across the room, Jun still by the window, Sho still sitting on his chair. It was the youngest who broke the silence first.

“I don't like men,” he said, putting his glass on the table. “That way, I mean.”

Sho looked at him doumbfounded. “I know you don't.”

“Aren't you gonna say you don't as well?”

Sho smiled bitterly. “We both know it's not true.” Jun didn't say anything at that. Instead, he moved from the window and slowly made his way to him.

“Aiko,” he started elencating, each name marking each step, “Mitsuko, Fumiya, Miyuki, Julia, Eri, Chika, Sumire.” That last name he whispered like a prayer. If he hadn't gotten so close by now, Sho thought he probably never would have heard it.

“Jun-kun, what...”

“I remember them all. Even those I just fooled around with.” He looked away. “I remember yours, too. I _know_ about yours, too.”

Sho stood up and grabbed Jun's wrist. “What game are you playing?” he said, angrily, forcing him to look back at him.

Jun didn't lower his gaze. “Shohei,” Sho gasped at the mention as he continued. “Seeichi, Takeshi, Kentaro, Tatsuya.”

“How do you know about them?” Sho hoped his eyes wouldn't betray his fear.

The grip on Jun's wrist became stronger. He winced slightly at the pain, but that didn't stop him. “Of course, there were girls, too. Trying to cover up, I imagine.”

“Matsumoto,” he warned him in a threatening voice.

“I am not into men,” Jun spit out.

“Hell if I care, Matsumoto.” Sho's face was red with anger. Jun found himself looking at the ghost of past Sakurai Sho, the senior every junior feared, and that made him shiver against himself. “What? Have you come here to blackmail me? Insult me? Did you wait 20 years just to spite me?” Sho let go of his wrist and gave him a violent push that almost sent him crashing against the windows.

“Fuck you, Sakurai, if you'd just listen!” he shouted.

“No, fuck you, Matsumoto! You come to my house in the middle of the night and start saying things you're not supposed to know. What the fuck do you want from me!?”

Sho looked at him full of wrath and hostility. Jun felt a sudden pain in his chest at this sight. He lowered his shoulders and his whole body shuddered. “Ohno-kun told me,” he almost whispered. “You think I hate you.”

Sho almost snorted. “Seems like I was right.”

“You think I hate you,” he repeated, “but I've told you, haven't I?” He clenched his fists. “That's why I told you. I am not into men, damn it.” He closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them up again, Sho was sure he had seen a clear drop wet his eyelashes. “Then tell me, Sho-kun. Tell me why I've spent the last seventeen years having sex with women, just to regret it the next day. Tell me why I've put myself through eight years of a relationship that was doomed before it even started, because I knew that no matter how much I tried, no matter how much _she_ tried, she could never be the one I really wanted.”

“I don't... Matsumoto...”

“I practically threw myself at you when we were Juniors, but you never noticed me, did you?” Sho gaped at him speechless. “I thought you liked me because you gave me a nickname and let me follow you around.” He laughed, full of resentment. “I was so stupid, thinking I'd get a chance. Here I was, ready to confess to you, ready to tell you that I loved you... and you had to go and kiss that Okamura guy.”

“I-- you hated me for that. Didn't talk to me again for years.”

“You're an idiot. I wanted you to kiss me instead.”

Somehow, he didn't know when, they had gotten closer to each other. From where he was, Sho could see the tears forming in the other man's eyes before falling down slowly on his cheeks. With his thumb, he wiped away a drop that had just fallen from Jun's lashes to his lower lip. Without thinking he took his finger to his mouth. The saltiness of the tear tasted like memories to him. Looking up, he saw Jun staring at him. He wasn't crying any more, but he was still looking sad. Knowing he was the reason for that pain, Sho wanted nothing more in the world than erase that look from his face.

It was Jun who kissed him first. He was still deciding what to do, when he pushed his lips against his softly. When they broke apart, Sho grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and kissed him again with urgency. They scrambled at each other's clothes, panting in between kisses. Sho felt Jun pushing him gently and he understood. He took his hand and rushed him to the bedroom.

Once they were there, he felt the realisation wash over him. Jun confessed to him. Kissed him. And now in all certainty he was going to have sex with him. The thought almost paralised him. He felt the old fear come back. Jun was going to laugh at him. He was going to hate him. He was going to run away again, and this time he wouldn't come back. Almost as if he sensed what was going on in Sho's mind, the other man took his hand and put it on his own chest. Jun's heart was beating like crazy, and Sho took the other's hand and did the same, so he could feel that his heart, too, was pounding so loudly in his body that he was surprised the whole of Tokyo didn't hear it.

They laid on the bed and kissed again, tugging at each other's clothes. Sho licked Jun's lips to clean them of the tears, as if he was going to cancel out the sadness and the pain with kisses and love. His lips wandered on his cheeks, on his eyes, on his chin, as the other man unzipped his jeans and removed their shirts. Skin to skin, they swapped heat as their hands wandered on their backs, on their chests, on their necks, on their arms. Their sense of urgency became greater once they started rubbing against each other against their will. Jun pushed him down hastily and pulled his pants down. He kissed him as he ran his hand over the bulge in his boxers, and Sho moaned against his lips. Teasingly, he rubbed him over the fabric, eliciting a sigh from him each time he ran his hand up and down, making him harder and harder with each touch. Suddenly, he pulled his underwear down and, licking his palm, he reached for him. Sho shuddered at the direct contact and his hands clasped around Jun's neck. The man stroked him painfully slow, the unsufficient friction making him sigh with impatience and want.

"Jun," he panted.

At the mention of his name, his eyes sparkled with a new light, snapping out of the daze he had fallen into while looking at the older man beneath him writhing and twisting at his touch. Still moving his hand, he freed himself from the embrace and kissed his way through Sho's soft chest and belly, taking him in his mouth with no hesitation. The man gasped and Jun felt a hand in his hair, gently urging him. He started sucking him while caressing his thighs, going at a faster pace each time he felt the hand on his head tug at his hair. When he felt Sho's hips moving against his mouth, he let him go. He was met with a very disappointed groan. He gave him a kiss on the head, but didn't give in to the pressure of the hand in his hair.

Understanding that he was going to get what he wanted so easily, Sho pulled him back up and pushed him to get on top. He bit playfully into the curve of his neck, and now it was Jun's time to moan. He caressed him lovingly all over before noticing that the man's pants were still zipped, so he gently undid them. His hand hovered on the bulge in his boxers, only brushing it from time to time. He let his other hand play with a nipple, while his mouth started licking and sucking the other one. He lifted his head too look at Jun's face, and realised that he had his hands on his eyes, his mouth opened, a little sound escaping it every now and then, his body shaking and trembling under his hands. Sho couldn't take it any more. It was clear to both of them who was stronger at this game of teasing, but he didn't care that he had to admit his defeat. He thought he had waited long enough.

He undressed himself completely and freed his partner of his clothes too. Jun stared at him, hands still on his eyes, peeking through the gaps between his long fingers. "Sho-kun," he sighed, with a hint of neediness in his voice, and he felt his desire grow stronger.

He wet his hand and started stroking him as he did not long before. He placed a few kisses on his abdomen, on his thighs, on his lenght. He felt Jun's body shiver when he started teasing his hole, and remembered.

"Wait." he stopped everything he was doing, fighting against his will to get going. Jun grunted in disappoint. "Is this your first time?"

The youngest nodded and sat up. "But it's alright. You can go ahead," he murmured, pulling him closer. "I want this."

Sho kissed him gently on his forehead. "I doubt it would be wise right now," he chuckled. "I really don't think I could hold myself back."

He reached for the drawer of his nightstand, and pulled out lube and condoms. Jun's eyes became bigger with nervousness at the sight, and Sho suddenly remembered why he gave him that nickname. "It's okay," he said warmly while laying them down so that Jun could be on top, "I can tell you what to do."

The youngest nodded again. He looked as Sho covered his fingers in lube and guided his hand down, making him push in and out of himself, telling him what to do between whimpers of pain and pleasure. When it was time, Jun put on a condom, and kissed him again as he entered him. In that kiss, he put all of his feelings of love and despair. All of the confusion he had felt for twenty years disappeared in a heated encounter of lips, teeth and tongues. _'This must be what it feels like'_ , he thought, ' _when it feels right.'_

Under Sho's instructions, Jun started moving slowly as he felt the tightness embracing him and inebriate his senses. The way the older man looked, with his face flushed, his eyes closed, and tiny pants coming out of his mouth, was driving him crazy. He struggled not to rush it, trying to keep a steady rhythm. He felt a tinge of happiness when he heard that Sho's moans had changed to a higher tone and he looked like he was actually enjoying himself. He took it as a sign that he could speed up his tempo, and that rewarded him with a new set of delighted sighs from his partner, as he himself felt a pant after another escape from his throat.

Kissing and biting, he found himself quickening his pace, bringing himself almost over the edge. Sensing this, Sho nibbed at his lobe and whispered _"touch me"_ in his ear. Jun felt himself almost losing control at the way Sho seductively murmored his order, but he tried to hold back the orgasm. With his hand still slick with lube, he stroked his partner as the man digged his fingers in his shoulders. Sho threw his head back as the youngest kissed his neck, and when the moans that escaped his mouth gently vibrated under his lips, Jun couldn't help but give in to the orgasm with a loud groan. Sho kissed him lovingly as he steadily slowed his pace and finally stopped. When he came down from his high, he resumed his stroking. He rubbed his other hand on Sho's back, caressing him as he came between the two of them a few minutes later.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concerned. "Was that too much?"

"That," panted Sho, still feeling weak from the orgasm, "was perfect."

The youngest laid his head on his chest, and he caressed his hair. Like that, Jun let the beat of the other man's heart lull him to sleep.

 

Sho woke up the next morning to the sound of his alarm ringing at 8:00. He almost jumped when he heard an angry voice coming out of the blankets.

"Why the fuck do you have an alarm going off on a Sunday morning, dickhead!?"

"Sorry, force of habits," he said, turning it off. Jun wasn't exactly a morning person, he remembered. He only hoped that his mood hadn't been set for the whole day, because he had other plans on how to spend the morning with him than having Jun yell at him for hours. "Sorry," he repeated, just in case. "I'm making breakfast, but you can stay here if you like."

He made to stand up when he felt the other man's hand grab him and pull him back. He couldn't actually see Jun because he was completely covered in the white duck feathers duvet. Only his hair was sticking out and Sho found that incredibly cute, somehow.

"I've never pretended to like anything you ever cooked, and I'm not about to start now. I'm cooking," the man stated. "In a minute." He moved under the blankets. "Or ten."

Sho laughed. "Alright." He pulled the blankets over his head too and stared at Jun laying on his side. When the youngest opened his eyes, he found the older man looking at him with a contented smile on his lips.

"What?" he said, a bit embarrassed.

“So, let me get this straight,” Sho said, teasingly. “You hated me for seventeen years, broke countless girls' hearts, and made everyone in Arashi uncomfortable because you were jealous that I kissed some guy when I was seventeen!?” He laughed heartily. “Talk about extreme.”

Jun blushed a little. “You're the worst. I don't even know why I put up with you.”

“Ah, let's see," he put his index finger on his chin, pretending to think about it. "I think I recall something about you telling me of your undying love for me that lasted 20 years...”

Jun pushed him away as he kept on laughing. “Well, there you go, the infatuation has passed. I just had to get you out of my system.”

“That's too bad, _mushi_ , because I just got addicted to having you in mine.”

Jun groaned. “That was the cheesiest line I've ever heard, _senpai_ ," he said, trying to fight a smile.

With a chuckle, Sho placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Jun was about to kiss him back, when he heard the older man's stomach grumble. When Sho looked at him pleadingly, he rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright, I get it." He pushed the blankets aside and got up.

Ten minutes later, with a bowl of rice in his hands, he looked at Sho eating his breakfast happily. "Everything is so good," he exclaimed. " _Maximum umai_!"

Jun snorted. "You're such a dork."

Still eating, the older man nodded. "I am _your_ dork now, though."

He smiled to himself. _'Yeah,'_ he thought.

He could get used to this.


End file.
